Family Gaming With Jodi L Milner

Jodi L Milner

Years ago, while dating a rather unusual guy in college who will remain nameless, I attempted my very first tabletop RPG. At least I think that's what it was supposed to be. It was late, I didn't know how to play, and to be honest, I'm not sure he knew what he was doing either. He cast himself as a sage mysterious traveler. I have zero recollection of what my character was supposed to be. My only memory of the game play itself is spending an ungodly amount of time haggling over his character trying to gift me an invisibility cloak. Looking back, that could have been one of many warning signs our relationship wasn't going to work.

That was my one and only attempt to play a tabletop RPG—like ever, and it wasn't particularly positive.

However, that tiny taste was enough to ignite my curiosity. Ever since then, I've wanted to find a group who really knows how to play so I can learn from them. Current status: still looking.

These days, finding a good RPG group isn't the problem. As an author, I've got hordes of friends who actively play, some with groups they've been playing with for decades. Judging from the little I know about how the game works, being a good storyteller, character builder, and bold-faced liar would make writers amazing RPG players.

The real problem these days is time. Campaigns take a long time and my free nights are few and far between. The evenings I do have I want to spend with my family. As of now, I really want to learn how to play and justify spending that kind of time to dedicate entire evenings to gaming with friends. After all, it's just a game, right?

Just a game? JUST A GAME?! I can hear the cries rise from the webs as I write. I know how important these gaming nights are for those who enjoy it. These days, it's hard to find any social interaction that isn't screen based. The social health of our society as a whole depends on people finding activities where people are encouraged to work together and enjoy spending time together.

I'll find my group one day, perhaps when my kiddos are a touch older. I'll find my group. Today is not that day.

Never fear—this isn't a pity post. I do get my game on with my immediate family. We've worked hard to properly indoctrinate my kids in all geek essentials. The day my oldest finished reading the Star Trek Technical Manual was a proud one. When my youngest announced he wanted to write his own stories, it brought a tear to my eye. However, we've failed them by not teaching RPG basics starting young and by doing so might have damaged their chances of being accepted at MIT!

Instead, we've devoted long evenings discussing diplomatic strategy while playing Settlers of Catan. Off and on there have been days long Risk battles camped out on the kitchen table. The current favorite, by far, is a nameless game I may or may not have borrowed from something Mary Robinette Kowal mentioned in a Writing Excuses podcast. She called the game exquisite corpse. We are still calling it "that game where you draw the pictures and then turn the page and describe them," which is exactly that. We make little paper books and number the pages. On the first page each player writes a phrase, something like, "The chicken lays an egg." The book is then passed to the next player who draws a chicken laying an egg. Pass three is when things get interesting. Without looking at the first page, the player must write a phrase describing the picture. Suddenly, the chicken laying an egg is now a pig pooping, or a shrub next to a grenade. This 'telephone' style game devolves quickly and has the same effect as mad libs—everyone rolling on the floor in laughter when the completed books are shared. 

It's the silliness that sells it.

Jodi's latest work

One-on-one games with my youngest, now seven, are always the most amusing. He is the text book example of "youngest child syndrome," meaning he thinks he can get away with anything as long as he smiles, and if that doesn't work, he goes and asks dad. It's the equivalent of playing Russian roulette, sometimes the gameplay results in smiles and survival, sometimes you get shot. He loves making his own rules, always to his own benefit. However, some games don't fare well with abrupt rule changes—like chess. When things go poorly, he makes like a Tasmanian devil, complete with the snarling.

Here's chess according to Mr. Pants: set up the board according to traditional game play. Player moves one or more pieces and informs player 2 the name of the move i.e. "Nuclear blast wave!" Player two then does something to 'protect' his pieces. Player one then proceeds to wipe anywhere between one and sixteen of player two's pieces from the board with the appropriate sound effect. Player two collects his/her pieces from around the room, and under the couch before setting them back on to the board in any arrangement the patience of player one permits. Player two then must play according the standard chess rules—as long as they don't 'kill' any of player one's pieces.

I've got a stress-induced bald spot from playing this game.

Through my experience of playing table games with my family I've learned several important lessons. Here they are in a bulleted list for your convenience.

• House rules are essential: While playing the textbook version of any game is the goal, it's important to adapt the rules so all players can enjoy the game. Some of these rules might include the "buddy system" where a non-reader is paired with a reading player so they can figure out what their cards say. This is closely paired with having a mentor readily available so should the younger player not know what to do, they can get help should they need it. Note—while a sibling makes a great reading buddy, they make terrible mentors. Their goal is to win and therefore they tend to give advice that isn't terribly helpful. Parents and other adults who don't care about the outcome of the game make terrific mentors, because they love to see the youngest player beat the socks off their older siblings (or maybe that's just me.)
• The goal should be having a good time: Before game play starts, when bad sportsmanlike behavior crops up, and when someone starts pouting, this message needs to be instilled over and over (and over, and over…). Younger children who are losing, despite their mentor's efforts, often need the most reminding. Eventually the life lesson of "not throwing a fit when things don't go your way" starts to stick, although I've met some adults who need reminding. Perhaps they should come to gaming night…
• Simple paper and pencil games are often the best:Games don't have to be complicated or require extensive equipment and paraphernalia for a group to have a good time together. The best experiences I've had with group gaming have been with simple paper games. There is a wealth of ideas online or ask other people about their favorites. Some of these games have been passed down generations. These can include charades, storytelling games, bluffing games, and getting to know you games, to name a few.

No matter your preference, I hope you find time to play a game or two with the people you enjoy spending time with. Bring snacks, your smiles, and be ready to have a great time.

Jodi L. Milner is the author of the YA noble dark fantasy Stonebearer's Betrayal as well as several short stories appearing in numerous anthologies and SQ Magazine.

In her community, she holds a leadership position in the League of Utah Writers and teaches at chapter meetings and conferences. She's a world traveler, married a magician, studied Kenpo karate, and performed reptile shows several times a week while in college. 

When not putting her characters in dire peril, Jodi can be folding the children and feeding the laundry, often in that order. She can also be found crocheting cute character sidekicks, playing lame app-based games, and reading – always reading.

Jodi is a firm believer that life is what you make it and she intends to make it a good one. She is an avid student of the interesting and obscure and has an unhealthy fascination with medical science. This path led to her working professionally in both human and animal medicine. These days she raises a pair of cranky chickens and is interested in taking up exotic animal rescue, much to her husband's horror.

She makes her home in the mountains of Utah.

Here are links to get more from Jodi Milner.

Website: JodiLMilner.com

Twitter: JodiLMilner

Facebook Author Page: JodilMilnerAuthor

Instagram: jodi.l.milner

Amazon listing for Stonebearer's Betrayal

Here is a link to the review of Stonebearer's Betrayal (link).

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